BHAANG DE BASANTI
[The following is written in HUMOUR and should be taken as that. People who come up with comments like this is disrespectful to the freedom fighters of yore, are in a need of serious mental check-up. And lastly this is my Blog so MY thoughts matter and yours DONT. :)]
Prologue : England. Screw(our Heroine) is reading her grandfather’s dairy who was an employee at a Pre-Indipendence era British Government office in India.
Grandfather’s diary :Office me do tarha ke log hote hain. Pehle jo chupchaap kaam karte hain
Sceene show few ppl mainly British working diligently
Aur jo rote chillate complain karte hue kaam karte hain
sceene shows people who are sleeping on their work
Aur phir main teesri kism ke logo se mila….
Sceene shows Indian Govt Officers…. RUM Prasad BISTAR, Asfaqulla TUNN, Bigsnore Singh and DozeGuru at their desks – sitting erect – files open in front of them, pens held in position – eyes seemingly open-
But then you notice that the pens are not moving – and the eyes are not blinking – as the camera close in on the eyes of Bigsnore Singh you realize that actually his eyes are closed but he has drawn fake eyes on his eyelids. He is sleeping in work.
Titles :
BHAANG DE BASANTI
A Generation goes to Sleep.
Sceene 2: Screw enters with her files to her bosses.
Boss Lady : You want to make a film about Indans sleeping. Make one on Kumbhkaran…Ramayan sells.
Screw : Teri maa ki takiya.
ACT II : India
Sceene 3 : Screw comes to India. She is received by hema Malini and her horse Dhanno at the airport.
Hema Malini: Kyun ki mujhe zaada bak bak karne ki aadat to hain nahi , par tum puchogi to bata hi deti hun – Mera naam hain Basanti..Ab tum puchogi Basanti yeha to Soha Ali khan ko hona chaiye tha, par tum kaise, to mai kahungi mera Nam Basanti hain aur is film ka naam me bhi basanti hain, to mujjhe to hona hi chaiye na.
Sceene 4 : Auditions
Prologue : England. Screw(our Heroine) is reading her grandfather’s dairy who was an employee at a Pre-Indipendence era British Government office in India.
Grandfather’s diary :Office me do tarha ke log hote hain. Pehle jo chupchaap kaam karte hain
Sceene show few ppl mainly British working diligently
Aur jo rote chillate complain karte hue kaam karte hain
sceene shows people who are sleeping on their work
Aur phir main teesri kism ke logo se mila….
Sceene shows Indian Govt Officers…. RUM Prasad BISTAR, Asfaqulla TUNN, Bigsnore Singh and DozeGuru at their desks – sitting erect – files open in front of them, pens held in position – eyes seemingly open-
But then you notice that the pens are not moving – and the eyes are not blinking – as the camera close in on the eyes of Bigsnore Singh you realize that actually his eyes are closed but he has drawn fake eyes on his eyelids. He is sleeping in work.
Titles :
BHAANG DE BASANTI
A Generation goes to Sleep.
Sceene 2: Screw enters with her files to her bosses.
Boss Lady : You want to make a film about Indans sleeping. Make one on Kumbhkaran…Ramayan sells.
Screw : Teri maa ki takiya.
ACT II : India
Sceene 3 : Screw comes to India. She is received by hema Malini and her horse Dhanno at the airport.
Hema Malini: Kyun ki mujhe zaada bak bak karne ki aadat to hain nahi , par tum puchogi to bata hi deti hun – Mera naam hain Basanti..Ab tum puchogi Basanti yeha to Soha Ali khan ko hona chaiye tha, par tum kaise, to mai kahungi mera Nam Basanti hain aur is film ka naam me bhi basanti hain, to mujjhe to hona hi chaiye na.
Sceene 4 : Auditions
Screw and Hema Malini aka Basanti aka Sonia search for students to play the roles of the characters in Screw’s grandfather’s diary – Chandrasekhar Z(Zed), Bigsnore Singh, Dozeguru, Ashfakulla Tunn ,RUM Prasad Bistar and Murda Bhaabi. For this Screw is looking for people who can sleep while standing or sitting erect. But no one is meeting the criteria. Ultimately frustrated they go to have masti…..
In the early morning train. Thousand of Call Centre Employees return in that day. The poor souls who work feverishly in office , find time to sleep in the train. Here ppl sleep in all positions – sitting , standing – it’s a sight to watch…..
Here we find two ppl – D.S.(DeepShit). and Susti sleeping while standing on one leg while two others Kumbkaran and Asleep are sleeping on the floor.
Song 1: Sone ki pathshaala
Na koi padne wala – na koi girne wala
Apni to pathsaala – susti ki pathshaala
Local ki jo seatein hain –hum waha pe sote hain
Ye jhumti sawari – mobile dormitory
Kandho ki equation hain – rhythm-multiplication hain
Jisko balancing aata hain
Khara hoke bhi sota hain
Na koi padne wala – na koi girne wala
Apni to pathsaala – susti ki pathshaala
Seeing D.S sleep on the footstand of the train….Screw sees Chandrasekkar Z(Zed) sleeping on his cycle while returning from office,.
However they cant sleep for long for the political activist hyperactive Relax-Man(actually his name is LAX-man but he is always hyperactive ppl call him “Relax Man!” comes and wake them up…..
LAX-Man : Nahi chalega train me sona…sona hain to office me jaake soo.
Screw asks Basanti/Sonia and her 4 frnds to act in her film.
Sceene 5: Screw selects her cast.
Screw(to Kumbhkaran) : Hume Bigsnore Singh to mil gaya
(to Basanti aka Sonia) : Tum banogi meri Murda Bhabhi
(to Susti) : Dozeguru
(to Asleep) : Ashafaqulla Tunn
(to D.S.) : Aur tum hoge Bahurupiye…Chandrasekhar Z….jo bhes badal badal kar sota tha.
Sceene 6 :
Screw goes to Office ewith the Gang and then returns with them in a atrain
In the early morning train. Thousand of Call Centre Employees return in that day. The poor souls who work feverishly in office , find time to sleep in the train. Here ppl sleep in all positions – sitting , standing – it’s a sight to watch…..
Here we find two ppl – D.S.(DeepShit). and Susti sleeping while standing on one leg while two others Kumbkaran and Asleep are sleeping on the floor.
Song 1: Sone ki pathshaala
Na koi padne wala – na koi girne wala
Apni to pathsaala – susti ki pathshaala
Local ki jo seatein hain –hum waha pe sote hain
Ye jhumti sawari – mobile dormitory
Kandho ki equation hain – rhythm-multiplication hain
Jisko balancing aata hain
Khara hoke bhi sota hain
Na koi padne wala – na koi girne wala
Apni to pathsaala – susti ki pathshaala
Seeing D.S sleep on the footstand of the train….Screw sees Chandrasekkar Z(Zed) sleeping on his cycle while returning from office,.
However they cant sleep for long for the political activist hyperactive Relax-Man(actually his name is LAX-man but he is always hyperactive ppl call him “Relax Man!” comes and wake them up…..
LAX-Man : Nahi chalega train me sona…sona hain to office me jaake soo.
Screw asks Basanti/Sonia and her 4 frnds to act in her film.
Sceene 5: Screw selects her cast.
Screw(to Kumbhkaran) : Hume Bigsnore Singh to mil gaya
(to Basanti aka Sonia) : Tum banogi meri Murda Bhabhi
(to Susti) : Dozeguru
(to Asleep) : Ashafaqulla Tunn
(to D.S.) : Aur tum hoge Bahurupiye…Chandrasekhar Z….jo bhes badal badal kar sota tha.
Sceene 6 :
Screw goes to Office ewith the Gang and then returns with them in a atrain
Song : Be a dozer
Say hoi ho oh hoi ho
Loose Consciousness
Be A Dozer
To the mahal of the Taj
To the Minar of Qutub
To the Kumari of Kanya (Say hoi oh hoi)
To the Panjim of Goa (Say hoi oh hoi)
To the Kaancheepuram
Zindabad Zindagood
All want some time to sleep
(Say hoi oh hoi)
They all need sometime to sleep
They all have sometime to slepp.
After returning from Office Asleep goes to his home…his frnds Kumbhkaran and Susti accompany him .
Screw (To DS) : Kaha milenge aise dost.
DS : Sab bichar jayenge. Call centere ke bagar naukri mili sab apne apne raste chale jaayenge. Koi eksaath nahi soyega. Sab ki shaadi hojayigi tab sab apne apne biwioke saath soyega.
Screw: Phirbhi…Kabi kabhi to eksaath so hi sakte ho.
DS : Nahi hota ji.
At Asleep’s home Asleep and his frnds are greeted by Asleep’s very Muslim(filmi version) father.
Asleep’s Father : Sab bigre hain Sone se pehle lungi bhi nahi pehnte.
Asleep : Jaise bhi hain…mere dost hain
Asleep’s Father : Kaise dost hain tumhare!!!! Apne kaum me koi nahi milta tumhe sone keliye. Sirf ye gair mazhabi hi mile
Asleep’s brother : Ye log kabhi hume is mulk ka hissa nahi samajhte…sirf isliye ke hum lungi pehente hain aur ye patloon. Mujhe dekhke nahi sikhte???? Kabhi dekha hain mujhe kisi Hindu ke saath sote hue?
Asleep gets angry and storms to his room….
Sceene 7: The sceene changes to Pre-Independence era office…Where Chandrasekahr Z, and his gang are sitting around a table drinking Bhang. Asfaqulla Tunn eneters….quotes a “sher” written by Rum Prasad Bistar…
Chandrasekhar Z : Hum Kakori ke story room ko lootenge. Waha angrezo keliye achche ache imported takiye, bistar etc jama hua hain. Aur wo hum ghar le jaake soyenge. Iske bare me apko BISTAR ji aur samjha denge.
Asfag TUNN : Ha! Kaha hain mera RUM?
Sceene 8: Present Day
Screw :Kaha Hain Mera RUM?
Screw is searching for some one to play RUM prasada BISTAR…LAX-Man come over and says….
LAX-man : Bistar jaise Nidra Kaari aap inme kaha dhund rahe hain , jo khud raat bhar nahi sote. Bistar ne likha ta ke agar Main Sau bar Office cahnge karu , to isi Hindustan ki office join karunga, take Hindustan ke liye main sau baar so saku.
Screw : To Tum Batao Kaha milega mujhe BISTAR.
LAX-Man closes his eyes and starts snoring.
Sceene 9 : The D.S.’s gang has a long time feud with LAX-man. Especially Asleep and LAX-Man hate each other due to the Lungi-Patloon feud.
Asleep : Screw, Agar tum LAX-Man ko lena chahti ho to main uske saath nahi sounga.
LAX-Man : Mere peet peche kya larkio ki tara chugli kart a hain , samne ake bol.
D.S and LAX-Man start fighting. Screw is horrifies, shouts and storms away.
Later D.S. comes to her…bruised and dirty…
D.S : Screw , Hum sabne baat karli. Hum sab eksaath Sone ke liye raazi hain.
Sceene 10. : Kakori Storeroom Robbery.
Sepia Tunes…Pre independence India….The House Keeping Storeroom had lot of soft pillows and elegant bed sheets reserved for British officers who had to do nightstay……Under the leadership of Chandrasekhar Z(Zed), RUM Prasad BISTAR, and Afaqulla TUNN the India employess loot the House Keeping Room, and run away.
Scene 11: The Gang goes to Amritsar Temple. Then they go to a a fair.
Song : Bhaang de Basanti
Chotisi pill meri sone ki meri tablet ki
Screw (To DS) : Kaha milenge aise dost.
DS : Sab bichar jayenge. Call centere ke bagar naukri mili sab apne apne raste chale jaayenge. Koi eksaath nahi soyega. Sab ki shaadi hojayigi tab sab apne apne biwioke saath soyega.
Screw: Phirbhi…Kabi kabhi to eksaath so hi sakte ho.
DS : Nahi hota ji.
At Asleep’s home Asleep and his frnds are greeted by Asleep’s very Muslim(filmi version) father.
Asleep’s Father : Sab bigre hain Sone se pehle lungi bhi nahi pehnte.
Asleep : Jaise bhi hain…mere dost hain
Asleep’s Father : Kaise dost hain tumhare!!!! Apne kaum me koi nahi milta tumhe sone keliye. Sirf ye gair mazhabi hi mile
Asleep’s brother : Ye log kabhi hume is mulk ka hissa nahi samajhte…sirf isliye ke hum lungi pehente hain aur ye patloon. Mujhe dekhke nahi sikhte???? Kabhi dekha hain mujhe kisi Hindu ke saath sote hue?
Asleep gets angry and storms to his room….
Sceene 7: The sceene changes to Pre-Independence era office…Where Chandrasekahr Z, and his gang are sitting around a table drinking Bhang. Asfaqulla Tunn eneters….quotes a “sher” written by Rum Prasad Bistar…
Chandrasekhar Z : Hum Kakori ke story room ko lootenge. Waha angrezo keliye achche ache imported takiye, bistar etc jama hua hain. Aur wo hum ghar le jaake soyenge. Iske bare me apko BISTAR ji aur samjha denge.
Asfag TUNN : Ha! Kaha hain mera RUM?
Sceene 8: Present Day
Screw :Kaha Hain Mera RUM?
Screw is searching for some one to play RUM prasada BISTAR…LAX-Man come over and says….
LAX-man : Bistar jaise Nidra Kaari aap inme kaha dhund rahe hain , jo khud raat bhar nahi sote. Bistar ne likha ta ke agar Main Sau bar Office cahnge karu , to isi Hindustan ki office join karunga, take Hindustan ke liye main sau baar so saku.
Screw : To Tum Batao Kaha milega mujhe BISTAR.
LAX-Man closes his eyes and starts snoring.
Sceene 9 : The D.S.’s gang has a long time feud with LAX-man. Especially Asleep and LAX-Man hate each other due to the Lungi-Patloon feud.
Asleep : Screw, Agar tum LAX-Man ko lena chahti ho to main uske saath nahi sounga.
LAX-Man : Mere peet peche kya larkio ki tara chugli kart a hain , samne ake bol.
D.S and LAX-Man start fighting. Screw is horrifies, shouts and storms away.
Later D.S. comes to her…bruised and dirty…
D.S : Screw , Hum sabne baat karli. Hum sab eksaath Sone ke liye raazi hain.
Sceene 10. : Kakori Storeroom Robbery.
Sepia Tunes…Pre independence India….The House Keeping Storeroom had lot of soft pillows and elegant bed sheets reserved for British officers who had to do nightstay……Under the leadership of Chandrasekhar Z(Zed), RUM Prasad BISTAR, and Afaqulla TUNN the India employess loot the House Keeping Room, and run away.
Scene 11: The Gang goes to Amritsar Temple. Then they go to a a fair.
Song : Bhaang de Basanti
Chotisi pill meri sone ki meri tablet ki
Thodisi Khushbuu baurai se sleeping gas ki
Thodisi goonjane waali ghar-ghar-ghar-ghar-ghar kharate
Jin mein ho sukoon sukoon voh boonde desi daruu ki
Ye sab tu mila mila le –phir bhang tu pila pila de
Aur mohe tu Bhaang de basanti yaara
Mohe tu bhaang de basanti
Sceene 13.
Jagianwala Baagh Incident
Employees are sleeping peace fully in office when Mr Dias comes in and starts yelling. People jump up from their sleep. Some body welps and falls down from the cair, one person gets buried under a heap of files, one guy hits his head on the ceiling trying to get up suddenly…It’s a complete massacre.
Sceene 14 : Lazypot’s protest
In protest of Jagiawala Bagh ,the Indian Borobabu of the office Lala Lazypot Rai goes to Dias but he is also kicked out of office.
The other Nidrakaris sit together to avenge this,
Chandrasekhar Z(Zed) : Hume kuch dhamakha karna parega.
Murda Bhabhi : Bhang pila do use.
Sceene 15 : Sanders Assassination.
Chandrasekhar Z, Bigsnore Singh, DozeGuru ,Tunn etc pose as Food Servers. Azad mixes Baang in Dias’s whisky and hand sit to him. However Snaders drinks the milk and goes to sleep.
Sceene 16
BISTAR and Asfaqulla TUNN are sleeping together in a Khatiya.
BISTAR : Asfaq , tu Afghanistan chala jaa. Waha hamare kai Muslim dost hain. Waha tujhe apna khatiya mil jaayega.
ASFAQ(hurt) : AIse kyo bol rahe ho. Kya tumhara Khatiya mera Khatiye nahi hain?
At this juncture the Office Security comes and arrest them in regard to the Kakori Storeroom Robbery.
They are grilled to tell the names of the others involved but they don’t say anything. They try to break them in other ways
Muslim Police(To Asfaquall Tunn) : Tum in Hindu-o ke saath kyon mile hue ho. Ye Bistar jaise log khudka apna bistar hasil kar lenge..tumhe kuch nahi milega.
Asfaq : Aap ko kya pata…Hindu-o ka bister me hi hamara bistar hain. Par ye app kya samjenge – apko to in Angrezo ke saath sone ki aadat parh gaya hain.
Ultimately they are sacked.
Sceene 17 : Present day. The Gang is seeing this episode in the rushes…. Their eyes are moist…partly because of emotion , but mainly because they have been working at the call center all night and the contrast in the TV is very bad.
At this point of time Basanti’s boyfriend Sojay enters and invites them for a treat. They also bring along LAX-Man with them.
Sceene 18 : The gangs seats around in a cafeteria.
Kumbkaran : Kuch nahi hoga is des ka…Abhi hum sirf raat ko nahi sote hain…kuch dino me 24 ghante nahi soyenge.
Sojay : Agar tum sona chahete ho – to army join karo – border pe so jao, polictics join karo – perlianment me so, Bollywood join karo – sleepwalk through you roles, ya phir cricket he khello – Ganguly ki tarha wicket ke samne so jaana. Kamse kam meri tarha meri tarha IT me hi aajayao – Bench pe baithke saradin sote rehna.
Sceene 19.
The Gang goes to a place near to Sojay’s very eco-friendly IT office Winfonture Consultancy
.Ajay takes them to the dorm, where he sleeps as he is on bench. D.S., Susti, KumbhKaran and Asleep take off their shirts and run in slow motion, waving their shirts over their heads and jump on to the beds in the dormitory.
Later Sojay proposes to Sonia/Basanti
Sojay : Kya tum mere saath sari zindagi sougi?
Song : Tu Bin Bataye
Tu bin bataye mujhe sula de kahin
Jahan tu muskuraye main so jaunga wahin…
Sojay and Basanti/Sonia gets engaged and the next day Sojay goes back to his Office.
Sceene 20:
Some days pass….The Gang is sitting in D.S’s mother’s dhaba….A news article comes on TV.
Newsreader : There is a lot of tension and stress among the young professionals today. Today thers is a new case of Insomnia. Its Sojay Singh Rathod. It goes like that…. He was Playing this Game called Sholay Reloaded for 10 consequtive days….and after that he is suffering from Insomnia. He cant sleep anymore.
The Gang is horrified. Sonia?Basanti is shocked.
Scene 21 : NDTV show.
The anchor questions the CEO of Winfonture Consultancy – Mr Krsihanmurty Srinivasarao Iyer.
“Mr Iyer itne log insomnia se ke shikaar ho raha hain. Phir bhi aap logoko office mein raat raat dhar kaam karate hain….Kaam ke tension se hi itna stress or sleeplessness ho raha hain logo ke andar.”
Iyer : “ Nahi nahi…Ye kaam ka pressure nahiu hain. Mir Sojay Singh Rathod …nausikhiye the,…unhe game khelna aata hi nahi tha…”
Sceene 22:
People led by Sojay’s mother, and D.S’s gang do ap peace-protest against the comments of the CEO. They assemble in front of the Winfoture Office and go to sleep in the middle of the road.
Only LAX-man is giving a Bhaashan
LAX-Man : Wo kehte hain ke Mr So-jay Singh Rathod nausikhiya the…usse game khelna nahi aata tha…par aap hi batiye, koi IT ka banda aesa hain jise game khelna aata nahi ho. College me yahi to seekhte hain wo. Aur ye log kehte hain ke unhe game khelna nahi aat tha. Salbahar me hazaar log Insomnia ke shikar hue hain….iska matlab to kharabi us game me hi hain..itna zor se awaz hoti hain ke logo ki neend urr jati hain.
Song : Neend Chala
Kuch der aur so ne ko neend chala neend chala
Annkhon ke shheshen me utarne ko – neend chala
Mu se lal tapakkar – Palankh se leepatkar
Takiye se chadar se ulajh kar – nikal kar
Naye sapne dekhne ko – neend chalal neend chala
Bujhi si aankh lekar – bari si snore dekar
Ahista ahista
Bistar ki garmi – takiye ki narmi
Sang lekar neend chala
However the sleep march is interrupted suddenly by Indian Idol and Fame Gurukul contestants singing Bizzare Songs at top volume. Sojay’s mother almost goes deaf. Qazi Tokir puts a headphone on Asleep’s ears so that he has to wake up. He is only saved by the timely intervention of LAXman who takes the headphone off him and puts it on the head of the Qazi Tokir. Qazi Tokir goes mad on hearing his own voice.
Sceene 23.
Back to Jaagianwala bagh sceene. But instead of Mr. Dayas its Iyer shouting…Kaam karo nahi to layoff kar dunga.
And they find So-jay suddenly waking from sleep and he is so shocked that he cant sleep anumore.
Sceene 24.
D.S. :Hume ek bara dhamaka karma parega.
Bsanti/Sonia : Bhaang pila do use.
The friends find the spirits of te pre-Independence era Govt Workers inside them.
Sceene 26.
D.S. and his Gang pose as Food Serving people in Winfoture Canteen. DJ mixes Bhang in the CEO’s milk. Krishnamurty Iyer falls asleep.
Saare desh me sansani phail jaati hain. Iyers sudden slumber is allover the news. However he is being hailed as a person who has served as a idol for the Sleep-starved nation, by going to sleep himself in the middle of the day.
D.S and his gangs decide that they have to try other means.
Sceene 27:
Early Morning. D.S. LAX-Man, KumbhKaran, Susti and Asleep break into the All India Radio office. KumbhKaran goes on air.
KK: Mera nam hain KumbKaran Singh. Mai aur mere dost CEO Iyer ko bhang pilaya hain. I repeat CEO Iyer ko humlogo ne bhang pilayi hain, wo khud se nahi pee. Hum Sab India Talking Call center me kaam karte hain aur raat raat bhar nahi sote hain. So-Jay hamara friend tha. Wo Winfosture me Softwrae Engineer tha. Aur wo bench pet ha is liye sara din sota tha. CEO Iyer ki wajah se use aaj Insomnia hain.. Humse ye saha nahi gaya . Isliye humne CEo ko Bhaang pila diya take sab log shanty se so sake.
As KK’s broadcast reaches to different offices all over the country, there is a huge hullabaloo. People from IT sectors and Call Centres all over the country, call the AIR office.
1st Caller( A professor) : Tumne bari hi buri example set kiya hain.
Kumbh karan : Sorry sir. Par aap hi batayiye …koi CEo apne aap se sone gaya hain kabhi.
2nd Caller(student) : In sab CEO,DM aur PMs ko eksaath line me khara karke Bhaang pila dena chaiye.
Kumbkaran : Kis kis ko Bhang pilayenge aap? Ye CEO’s koi bahar se nahi aata. Ye hamre beech se hi aate hain. Agar ye nahi sote hain to iska matlab hum bhi sote nahi hain thik tarha se.
3rd Caller : CEO ko Bhang pilake kais mahsus kar rahe hain aap.
KK : Ye koi zadti dushmani nahi thi k eek ko bhang pila diya aur khush ho gaye hain. Abhi bhi bahut neend baki hain.
Scene 28.
As KK is on Air the Govt has moved commandoes to Hunt down the 5 guys. The commandoes are armed with Sleeping Bullets and Sleeping Gas.
Commadoes start firing the sleeping bullets…..Susti is Hiding at one place, while DS behind another. DS thinks he wil surrender and comes out with his hand sup. The commadoes shoot at him, but he takes cover before they hit him. Susti think he is hit and comes out in the open, and shout…..
Susti : Aa sala,…sula na hain to sula.
They shoot at Susti. He falls down in DS’s arms.
Susti : Saal, main Gulla karne se pehle hi so gaya.
He falls asleep.
Asleep and LAX-Man run toward s the roof to close the door, but they are exposed to sleeping gas. As they fall aslepp they touch each others hands. While darkness comes before their eyes they hear BISTAR and Asfaquall TUNN snoring.
Scene 29
4th Caller : Wo sab to theek hain, Kumbkaran sahib, par appke Dad Ravan SInghaniya, wo bhi to PM hain, wo bhi to saradin nahi sote.
KumbhKaran is silent. A very sleepy DS enters the station and speaks on the mike.
DS: Kumbhkaran Singhaniya ne apne baap Ravan Singhaniya ko bhi bhang pilake aaya hain.
Saying this he falls down half-asleep. Kumbkaran clutches him.
Kumbhkaran: Tu itna drowsy kyon hain re…..
(He understand everything from D.S.’s _expression.) Susti…Asleep?
DS. Tujhe ekbaat bataya nahi…Mujhe pyar ho gaya hain
Kumbhkaran : Ha wo dikhne me to achi hain….
DS. Par maine Soya nahi abhi bhi uske saath
Kumbhakarn and DS start laughing at the joke.
V.o. There are two kinds of people in office . People are those who work diligently and people who sleep. Then I met the third kind. Kummbh Karan and DS are sleeping, but there are eyes drawn on their closed eyelids.
Sceene 30.
The whole nation goes wild. Studenst start shouting every where.
Student : Jo kaam inhone shuru kit hi wo hum aage le jayenge..Saying this he drinks a mug of Bhang.
So do all people allover India. Everybody ecerywhere drink Bahng and go to sleep.
Nehru’s famous dialogue is heard in the background but in a distorted way….
At the stroke of early morning, when the whole world awakes, India goes to sleep.
Credits roll.
Ending Song : Rub a –roo
Ae saala –abhi abhi hua yakeen..ke aaj to hain Sunday ka din
Hui subha main sota raha
Suraj ko main ignore kiya
Ru-ba-roo relaxi...ng.....Yeaaah
Aur mohe tu Bhaang de basanti yaara
Mohe tu bhaang de basanti
Sceene 13.
Jagianwala Baagh Incident
Employees are sleeping peace fully in office when Mr Dias comes in and starts yelling. People jump up from their sleep. Some body welps and falls down from the cair, one person gets buried under a heap of files, one guy hits his head on the ceiling trying to get up suddenly…It’s a complete massacre.
Sceene 14 : Lazypot’s protest
In protest of Jagiawala Bagh ,the Indian Borobabu of the office Lala Lazypot Rai goes to Dias but he is also kicked out of office.
The other Nidrakaris sit together to avenge this,
Chandrasekhar Z(Zed) : Hume kuch dhamakha karna parega.
Murda Bhabhi : Bhang pila do use.
Sceene 15 : Sanders Assassination.
Chandrasekhar Z, Bigsnore Singh, DozeGuru ,Tunn etc pose as Food Servers. Azad mixes Baang in Dias’s whisky and hand sit to him. However Snaders drinks the milk and goes to sleep.
Sceene 16
BISTAR and Asfaqulla TUNN are sleeping together in a Khatiya.
BISTAR : Asfaq , tu Afghanistan chala jaa. Waha hamare kai Muslim dost hain. Waha tujhe apna khatiya mil jaayega.
ASFAQ(hurt) : AIse kyo bol rahe ho. Kya tumhara Khatiya mera Khatiye nahi hain?
At this juncture the Office Security comes and arrest them in regard to the Kakori Storeroom Robbery.
They are grilled to tell the names of the others involved but they don’t say anything. They try to break them in other ways
Muslim Police(To Asfaquall Tunn) : Tum in Hindu-o ke saath kyon mile hue ho. Ye Bistar jaise log khudka apna bistar hasil kar lenge..tumhe kuch nahi milega.
Asfaq : Aap ko kya pata…Hindu-o ka bister me hi hamara bistar hain. Par ye app kya samjenge – apko to in Angrezo ke saath sone ki aadat parh gaya hain.
Ultimately they are sacked.
Sceene 17 : Present day. The Gang is seeing this episode in the rushes…. Their eyes are moist…partly because of emotion , but mainly because they have been working at the call center all night and the contrast in the TV is very bad.
At this point of time Basanti’s boyfriend Sojay enters and invites them for a treat. They also bring along LAX-Man with them.
Sceene 18 : The gangs seats around in a cafeteria.
Kumbkaran : Kuch nahi hoga is des ka…Abhi hum sirf raat ko nahi sote hain…kuch dino me 24 ghante nahi soyenge.
Sojay : Agar tum sona chahete ho – to army join karo – border pe so jao, polictics join karo – perlianment me so, Bollywood join karo – sleepwalk through you roles, ya phir cricket he khello – Ganguly ki tarha wicket ke samne so jaana. Kamse kam meri tarha meri tarha IT me hi aajayao – Bench pe baithke saradin sote rehna.
Sceene 19.
The Gang goes to a place near to Sojay’s very eco-friendly IT office Winfonture Consultancy
.Ajay takes them to the dorm, where he sleeps as he is on bench. D.S., Susti, KumbhKaran and Asleep take off their shirts and run in slow motion, waving their shirts over their heads and jump on to the beds in the dormitory.
Later Sojay proposes to Sonia/Basanti
Sojay : Kya tum mere saath sari zindagi sougi?
Song : Tu Bin Bataye
Tu bin bataye mujhe sula de kahin
Jahan tu muskuraye main so jaunga wahin…
Sojay and Basanti/Sonia gets engaged and the next day Sojay goes back to his Office.
Sceene 20:
Some days pass….The Gang is sitting in D.S’s mother’s dhaba….A news article comes on TV.
Newsreader : There is a lot of tension and stress among the young professionals today. Today thers is a new case of Insomnia. Its Sojay Singh Rathod. It goes like that…. He was Playing this Game called Sholay Reloaded for 10 consequtive days….and after that he is suffering from Insomnia. He cant sleep anymore.
The Gang is horrified. Sonia?Basanti is shocked.
Scene 21 : NDTV show.
The anchor questions the CEO of Winfonture Consultancy – Mr Krsihanmurty Srinivasarao Iyer.
“Mr Iyer itne log insomnia se ke shikaar ho raha hain. Phir bhi aap logoko office mein raat raat dhar kaam karate hain….Kaam ke tension se hi itna stress or sleeplessness ho raha hain logo ke andar.”
Iyer : “ Nahi nahi…Ye kaam ka pressure nahiu hain. Mir Sojay Singh Rathod …nausikhiye the,…unhe game khelna aata hi nahi tha…”
Sceene 22:
People led by Sojay’s mother, and D.S’s gang do ap peace-protest against the comments of the CEO. They assemble in front of the Winfoture Office and go to sleep in the middle of the road.
Only LAX-man is giving a Bhaashan
LAX-Man : Wo kehte hain ke Mr So-jay Singh Rathod nausikhiya the…usse game khelna nahi aata tha…par aap hi batiye, koi IT ka banda aesa hain jise game khelna aata nahi ho. College me yahi to seekhte hain wo. Aur ye log kehte hain ke unhe game khelna nahi aat tha. Salbahar me hazaar log Insomnia ke shikar hue hain….iska matlab to kharabi us game me hi hain..itna zor se awaz hoti hain ke logo ki neend urr jati hain.
Song : Neend Chala
Kuch der aur so ne ko neend chala neend chala
Annkhon ke shheshen me utarne ko – neend chala
Mu se lal tapakkar – Palankh se leepatkar
Takiye se chadar se ulajh kar – nikal kar
Naye sapne dekhne ko – neend chalal neend chala
Bujhi si aankh lekar – bari si snore dekar
Ahista ahista
Bistar ki garmi – takiye ki narmi
Sang lekar neend chala
However the sleep march is interrupted suddenly by Indian Idol and Fame Gurukul contestants singing Bizzare Songs at top volume. Sojay’s mother almost goes deaf. Qazi Tokir puts a headphone on Asleep’s ears so that he has to wake up. He is only saved by the timely intervention of LAXman who takes the headphone off him and puts it on the head of the Qazi Tokir. Qazi Tokir goes mad on hearing his own voice.
Sceene 23.
Back to Jaagianwala bagh sceene. But instead of Mr. Dayas its Iyer shouting…Kaam karo nahi to layoff kar dunga.
And they find So-jay suddenly waking from sleep and he is so shocked that he cant sleep anumore.
Sceene 24.
D.S. :Hume ek bara dhamaka karma parega.
Bsanti/Sonia : Bhaang pila do use.
The friends find the spirits of te pre-Independence era Govt Workers inside them.
Sceene 26.
D.S. and his Gang pose as Food Serving people in Winfoture Canteen. DJ mixes Bhang in the CEO’s milk. Krishnamurty Iyer falls asleep.
Saare desh me sansani phail jaati hain. Iyers sudden slumber is allover the news. However he is being hailed as a person who has served as a idol for the Sleep-starved nation, by going to sleep himself in the middle of the day.
D.S and his gangs decide that they have to try other means.
Sceene 27:
Early Morning. D.S. LAX-Man, KumbhKaran, Susti and Asleep break into the All India Radio office. KumbhKaran goes on air.
KK: Mera nam hain KumbKaran Singh. Mai aur mere dost CEO Iyer ko bhang pilaya hain. I repeat CEO Iyer ko humlogo ne bhang pilayi hain, wo khud se nahi pee. Hum Sab India Talking Call center me kaam karte hain aur raat raat bhar nahi sote hain. So-Jay hamara friend tha. Wo Winfosture me Softwrae Engineer tha. Aur wo bench pet ha is liye sara din sota tha. CEO Iyer ki wajah se use aaj Insomnia hain.. Humse ye saha nahi gaya . Isliye humne CEo ko Bhaang pila diya take sab log shanty se so sake.
As KK’s broadcast reaches to different offices all over the country, there is a huge hullabaloo. People from IT sectors and Call Centres all over the country, call the AIR office.
1st Caller( A professor) : Tumne bari hi buri example set kiya hain.
Kumbh karan : Sorry sir. Par aap hi batayiye …koi CEo apne aap se sone gaya hain kabhi.
2nd Caller(student) : In sab CEO,DM aur PMs ko eksaath line me khara karke Bhaang pila dena chaiye.
Kumbkaran : Kis kis ko Bhang pilayenge aap? Ye CEO’s koi bahar se nahi aata. Ye hamre beech se hi aate hain. Agar ye nahi sote hain to iska matlab hum bhi sote nahi hain thik tarha se.
3rd Caller : CEO ko Bhang pilake kais mahsus kar rahe hain aap.
KK : Ye koi zadti dushmani nahi thi k eek ko bhang pila diya aur khush ho gaye hain. Abhi bhi bahut neend baki hain.
Scene 28.
As KK is on Air the Govt has moved commandoes to Hunt down the 5 guys. The commandoes are armed with Sleeping Bullets and Sleeping Gas.
Commadoes start firing the sleeping bullets…..Susti is Hiding at one place, while DS behind another. DS thinks he wil surrender and comes out with his hand sup. The commadoes shoot at him, but he takes cover before they hit him. Susti think he is hit and comes out in the open, and shout…..
Susti : Aa sala,…sula na hain to sula.
They shoot at Susti. He falls down in DS’s arms.
Susti : Saal, main Gulla karne se pehle hi so gaya.
He falls asleep.
Asleep and LAX-Man run toward s the roof to close the door, but they are exposed to sleeping gas. As they fall aslepp they touch each others hands. While darkness comes before their eyes they hear BISTAR and Asfaquall TUNN snoring.
Scene 29
4th Caller : Wo sab to theek hain, Kumbkaran sahib, par appke Dad Ravan SInghaniya, wo bhi to PM hain, wo bhi to saradin nahi sote.
KumbhKaran is silent. A very sleepy DS enters the station and speaks on the mike.
DS: Kumbhkaran Singhaniya ne apne baap Ravan Singhaniya ko bhi bhang pilake aaya hain.
Saying this he falls down half-asleep. Kumbkaran clutches him.
Kumbhkaran: Tu itna drowsy kyon hain re…..
(He understand everything from D.S.’s _expression.) Susti…Asleep?
DS. Tujhe ekbaat bataya nahi…Mujhe pyar ho gaya hain
Kumbhkaran : Ha wo dikhne me to achi hain….
DS. Par maine Soya nahi abhi bhi uske saath
Kumbhakarn and DS start laughing at the joke.
V.o. There are two kinds of people in office . People are those who work diligently and people who sleep. Then I met the third kind. Kummbh Karan and DS are sleeping, but there are eyes drawn on their closed eyelids.
Sceene 30.
The whole nation goes wild. Studenst start shouting every where.
Student : Jo kaam inhone shuru kit hi wo hum aage le jayenge..Saying this he drinks a mug of Bhang.
So do all people allover India. Everybody ecerywhere drink Bahng and go to sleep.
Nehru’s famous dialogue is heard in the background but in a distorted way….
At the stroke of early morning, when the whole world awakes, India goes to sleep.
Credits roll.
Ending Song : Rub a –roo
Ae saala –abhi abhi hua yakeen..ke aaj to hain Sunday ka din
Hui subha main sota raha
Suraj ko main ignore kiya
Ru-ba-roo relaxi...ng.....Yeaaah
posted by TRIAMBIGRAM at
6:25 AM
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